Forever Free
by SilentG
Summary: She's reading Goren's favourite book. She has a dream about him. Two-shot. B/A as usual. S10 compatible.
1. AND AND AND

**Author:** SilentG  
><strong>Title:<strong> Forever Free…  
><strong>Fandom:<strong> LO:CI  
><strong>Pairing:<strong> B/A  
><strong>Rating:<strong> K+  
><strong>Spoilers:<strong> Minor S10 spoilers  
><strong>Archive:<strong> Anywhere – no need to ask – just attribute, and let me know if possible  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> Not mine  
><strong>Summary:<strong> She's reading Goren's favourite book. She has a dream about him. Two-shot. B/A as usual. S10 compatible. 

**A/N 1:** In one of the early S10 epis, Goren says his favourite book is _Forever Free_, by Joe Halderman. This is extremely ironic to me, and was an early hint IMO of the intended shippiness of S10. You'll see why. Minor spoilers for some S10 epis.

~.~.~.~.~

**CHAPTER ONE: AND AND AND**

He'd finally asked her out… kinda… and they'd ended up at the beach.

After chickening out outside Gyson's office, Bobby hadn't had the courage to satisfy the expectation in Alex's eyes that day, or his own desires. Work had been busy, and his therapy sessions had been draining, and and and. He knew… _knew_ from her face that his hopes for them weren't completely off-base, but there were so many variables, so many uncertainties, so many ways in which he couldn't see the way forward, couldn't see the outcome.

So for a week, he'd procrastinated.

Watched a parade of emotions… yearning, hope, impatience… pass across the face of his partner, only making up his mind to do something when he exited Gyson's office the next Sunday, irrationally disappointed not to see her waiting for him again.

He found himself loitering on the sidewalk, cell phone in hand.

"_Eames," she'd answered, somehow imbuing the single word with a warmth and humour that made his muscles and sinews come alive._

"_Hey," he'd said, his mouth leaden and his tongue 10 times too big, as seemed always to be the case when he had something important to tell her._

"_Hey yourself," she'd replied, then nothing._

He'd gotten the message though, loud and clear. _Your move_. After what seemed like an age, he'd croaked out a question about her plans for the day, and she'd told him she was going to chance an afternoon at the beach.

"_You want some company?" He'd blurted before giving himself a chance to chicken out._

"_Who says I don't already have company?" _

Bobby'd been so surprised, he'd dropped the phone. By the time he grabbed it off the pavement, Alex was gone. He tried calling back, but it went straight to voicemail.

He'd been standing there on the sidewalk, feeling like a heel, when his phone had vibrated. A new text message.

_COME PICK ME UP._

_BRING A BOOK._

_AND NO WORK TALK._

_AND NO WORK._

And here they were.

The water wasn't warm enough for swimming yet, but the June day was soft and breezy and beautiful, just like his companion. Bobby wasn't terribly comfortable slouching in his t-shirt and slacks on the blanket she'd carefully spread for them, but they were under dappled shade from a stand of trees, and that plus sunscreen, a wine cooler and his partner's company was enough to polish away the rough edges of his day, if any.

"Did you finish the books I lent you?"

"I did," she said, in that way that made him want to ask her more questions. Like her _Noooooo_ when he'd asked her if she'd been a client of that dating service… There was just something about her tone that made him feel like she _would_ tell him things, if he'd the courage to ask her.

"And?" He found his gaze drifting between Alex's expressive face and the sand she was sifting through her fingers, making piles on her toes that she then wiggled away. Was it the breeze lifting and fluffing her hair that made her look so carefree? Or was it something else.

He'd loaned her the _Forever_ series by Joe Haldeman, which he'd mentioned one day contained his favourite book, and which she'd been curious about as a result.

Just today Dr. Gyson had managed to put him on the spot about it… perhaps that was what brought the books to mind, weeks after he'd given them to Alex.

"_What?" Dr. Gyson was reacting to his sudden frown._

"_Nothing. I just remembered I loaned my favourite book to someone a while back."_

"_And what is your favourite book?"_

An innocent question, that moments later had him cringing and squirming in his chair. When he'd told her (_Forever Free_), turned out she was familiar with the series.

"_So your favourite book is about a super-intelligent, elite special forces operative who marries the woman he works with, who is, coincidentally, the only person he's ever felt close to?"_

_Bobby willed himself not to twitch. "Well actually, that's the first book. The sequel…"_

"_I'm familiar with the sequel. Where, having made his choice, the hero and his wife disappear to create a world unto themselves."_

At his abject nod, Gyson seemed to take pity on him and directed the conversation elsewhere for the rest of the session. It wasn't until she arose to walk him to the door that she revisited the topic.

"_The protagonist went on a solo mission, didn't he? One that took him 10,000 years into the future?" Bobby nodded, knowing what was coming next. "And his partner followed him, didn't she? She time-jumped on her own so that she'd be there for him. When he was ready."_

Suddenly he wasn't sure if he wanted to know what Alex thought of the books.

Which feeling was amplified when he saw the hesitant, pensive expression that had swept the carefreeness from her face.

"It's OK," he said, "If you didn't like them."

"Oh I liked them," she replied. "But," her head twitched the way it did when she was uncomfortable, "I think it was your books that made me have a weird, horrible dream last night."

~.~.~.~.~

**A/N 2:** I got spanked by a reader for bumping an old fic of mine… I hope this will salve any irritation folks might have felt! And BTW nobody has to be logged in to review my fics, but there's no need to leave un-signed reviews if they're uncomplimentary; I value and respect every person's opinion, even if it's not positive! Part deux will be up soon.

WORDS: 1048 UPLOADED Sunday, January 22, 2012

TBC. One, Two, Better review!


	2. FOREVER FREE

**A/N 1:** Yes I know that Goren _said_ he hated the beach. But there was something going on with Eames in that episode (Depths), so I've always suspected he was being less than truthful. You'll see…

~.~.~.~.~

**CHAPTER TWO: FOREVER FREE**

_I hate the beach_, he remembered saying to a detective out under the pier at the beginning of the Agiza / Harper case. It wasn't true. That day was still so clear in his mind. Hotter than today. On call, at home. Sipping beer, doing crosswords. What a dummy! He hadn't even clued in to the fact until years later, that the reason he'd been so bent on distraction, so irritable, was because he'd known Eames had had a new man in her life. The second he'd set eyes on her, looking sleepy-eyed yet impatient, he'd felt ire and jealousy burn through him like fire. Only he couldn't let himself feel the latter, so it had come out as a kind of diffuse loathing towards the location. Tramping across the shifting sand in his too-hot suit, thinking and-yet-not about how cool and smooth her date must have been, to capture her attention so thoroughly.

Despite choosing to be here, and enjoying himself for the most part, he suddenly felt the same urge to move, to escape, to _get the fuck outta here_. He did NOT want to hear Eames's dream. Didn't want to be the cause of it.

And she clearly didn't want to tell him. Or did she?

As she stared at him, sucking her teeth and looking worried, the tips of her fingers looped in between her sandy toes, he took a mental step back. _What had he been in therapy for?_ To gain control of himself in situations like this. To stop himself from escalating nothing into a disaster out of misplaced anxiety.

Eames. Alex. She'd been interested in his favourite book. Interested in him. Probably.

And, she'd had a bad dream, just last night. Yet here she was out with him today and moreover, she'd brought it up. She could have kept quiet but she mentioned it. How could she not want to talk about it?

And he was a grownup. Whatever she said wouldn't change his feelings for her, and if her feelings for him had changed because of that dream, well, maybe he could change them back.

But he couldn't fix what he didn't know, so…

"You wanna, tell me about it?" He put a tiny punch of humour and assertiveness into the question, and was instantly relieved.

For she looked down and away as she was wont to do, and smiled the way she had weeks ago when she'd answered his question about the dating service. "Yes and no," she said into her hair.

"Let's start with yes," he murmured, and only realised when he saw the startled fire in her eyes that he'd been flirting. She took a breath and seemed to brace herself.

"I dreamt that Nicole was alive. And bent on mayhem." He shuddered with disgust at the notion of Wallace invading his partner's slumber. "For some reason, you went to Gage to find out how to stop her. And he told you that the only way was to sacrifice yourself." She shook her head and glanced at him almost apologetically.

"Sounds like something he'd say," he told her. Now that she'd started talking, he was riveted. Hours, he thought, is how long it would take for him to dissect every iota of this narrative to unlock the hints about her psyche. Thinking from Alex's point of view, did what she'd dreamt about him sacrificing himself say more about her opinion of him, Bobby? Or about his mentor?

"Well, it gets weirder. He told you to go to a genie who sent you to this kind of… purgatory. You had to stay there by yourself forever." Her voice cracked a little on the last word. _Forever_.

"Then for some reason you got a wish… you know how dreams are, no logic to them. You could have anything you wanted, except to be set free." Again her voice got soft, cracked a little at the end. She closed her eyes as if she were afraid to look at him, and he _knew_ what he'd wished for in her dream. And a frisson of energy lit up his spine and across his chest.

"I wished to see you."

She nodded. "Yep. For one day. You could have picked any time frame… forever, a week, a month, but you chose one day. Because you thought forever would be too long for me…" Now she was petulant, and she still wouldn't look at him.

"And a week or a month wouldn't be enough for me."

Alex nodded and finally looked up. Now he was beginning to understand, and it took everything he had not to jump up and pump the air. Precious and irresistible. She saw that he saw her that way. _Amazing_. He was so captivated by the thought that he missed what she said next.

When he asked her to repeat it, she scowled at him without heat and shook her head. "I was so mad at you for picking _one day_. Then I was so, so sad at the idea that you'd be alone forever more."

He asked her how they'd spent their one day together, but she got such a deer in the headlights look that he took pity on her. _Later. He'd make her tell him later._ "What about when you had to leave?"

"I couldn't think about anything else but getting back there. I tried everything. I even went to Gage… he laughed in my face of course. I prayed, I went to psychics, I made myself sick with it."

"And then?"

"Then, I woke up."

**o.o.o.o.o**

_She loves me_, he thought. His proud, refined, subtle partner had chosen this day, in this way, to tell him that she loved him.

And what was he going to do about it? _Nothing, _he thought ruefully. Still bound by fear, he would let her talk. Adopting a scholarly mien, he asked slyly, "What do you think it means?"

And was again rewarded. She smiled broadly – and with perhaps a little relief? – and said, "I was hoping you'd tell me. I'd imagine you've been getting lessons in dream interpretation from your doctor?" He might have been mistaken, but Bobby thought he detected a note of curiosity, maybe even anxiety.

He shook his head and grinned. "She doesn't tell me anything… she makes me figure it out for myself." She looked disappointed that he wasn't biting, but he… _couldn't._ He needed to hear her declaration. He could flirt and lead, but he needed her to say the words. She rolled her eyes at him, the same way perps did in interrogations when he made them spell things out. But then she softened, and he said quietly, huskily, "C'mon, let's hear it."

"Well… I think…" Her voice was tremulous. "…that the dream was telling me something about you, and about myself. I know – or at least I think I know – that a week or a month wouldn't be long enough for you. But I don't think you know that forever… wouldn't be too long for me."

**o.o.o.o.o**

Bobby closed his eyes, his heart both heavy and oh so light. A lifetime with just Alex. A life she'd chosen, even though his choice had been coerced. _Forever wouldn't be too long for me_, she said.

With some embarrassment, he felt an ill-timed pricking behind his eyelids. _Wasn't that what they had now_? Was that what Gyson had been trying to make him see?

_Speak, Bobby. Now it's your turn to speak._ "Alex… my, my therapist gives me the impression she's not sure I'm ready. To move on and have – what I want."

"Maybe she's just waiting for _you_ to be sure."

He remembered Gage's hands on his face, his words. _You're free._ "I think I am."

~.~.~.~.~

**A/N 2:** Aaah me. Hope you liked it! There will be more (probably not of this fic, but more from me). Hope everyone's doing well, and keeping the fic flag flyin'!

WORDS: 1381 UPLOADED Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Try not! Do! Review!


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